Our group met again last night, and let me tell you, it was eye opening for me! I honestly thought that my husband needed this more than I did. I thought most of our issues were his fault. I blamed him for my unhappiness.
My minister made it very clear to us that we misunderstood marriage if we thought its purpose was to make us happy. Marriage is all about trying to make the other person happy! He also said that my husband will never be everything I need him to be. He cannot meet all of my needs. No human can. Instead, I should focus on allowing God to fill in the gaps and trying each day to meet the needs of my husband.
I discovered that what my husband wants to most from me each day is praise. He wants me to tell him that I appreciate everything he does for me and our family. Rather than fuss at him for not wanting to help with laundry, he wants me to express appreciation for the money he brought into our family. He works long hours so he can be a good provider. He sees that as his number one job. Everything else is secondary. I have to understand that on some level, so I don't disrespect him when I constantly ask him to do more.
I think he may have learned a few things too, but I felt like a terribly mean wife at times. I need to show my respect toward my husband more often.
I don't know the state of your marriage, but God calls wives to be respectful to their husbands even if they don't deserve it. We don't show respect because of who they are. We show it because we are daughters of Christ, and God tells us to do so.
Jessica is a fifth grade teacher and beginning freelance writer. She is the wife-extraordinaire to Josh and mother of two year old Devon. When she isn't teaching, mothering, cooking, cleaning, or writing, you can find her locked in a quiet room reading.
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